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Japan dating advice controversy: A local government in northern Japan has found itself at the centre of a sexism row after releasing a dating advice booklet that urged women to wear pumps, skirts, and “demure” makeup to find a partner. The Iwate Prefecture withdrew the online publication earlier this week after it sparked nationwide criticism and drew the attention of feminist scholars and social media users alike.

The now-removed guide, originally published in 2019, was intended to help residents looking for marriage. However, its gender-specific tips — especially those aimed at women — triggered a heated debate about outdated gender roles and societal expectations in modern Japan.

‘Delicate and Graceful’—Tips That Sparked Outrage

The booklet, which featured a cartoon-like illustration of a slim, long-haired woman with pink-tinted cheeks, advised women to wear skirts that reveal their ankles and shoes that make them appear “delicate.” It also encouraged the use of light, “elegant” makeup and “beautiful, graceful” hairstyles, claiming such looks would make women more appealing to potential partners. “Choose predominantly white clothes to project purity,” one section read. “That way, you can exude an air of delicateness.”

The advice was quickly denounced by academics and online users as reinforcing stereotypes about how women should behave or appear in society. Cultural anthropologist Tomomi Yamaguchi called out the booklet on social media platform X, writing that it “entrenches gender-based divisions of roles.” Her post received over 6.5 million views, fueling widespread criticism across Japan.

Municipality Withdraws Guide After Complaints

Following public backlash, the Iwate government removed the material from its website, admitting that some of its descriptions were “upsetting.” However, an unnamed official defended the booklet’s intent, stating it was meant to “support people who are struggling to find marriage partners.” “It was never meant to impose rules,” the official said. “These are simply examples of what many have found successful.”

Adding to the controversy, critics noted that the booklet’s advice for men was far less demanding — simply urging them to “keep shirts clean” and “avoid messy hair.” “Talk about the huge pressure imposed on single women in Japan,” one X user commented. Another added, “These tips are so specific for women; it’s like they’re trying to make everyone the same type.”

Japan’s Struggle With Declining Birth Rate

The uproar comes amid Japan’s ongoing efforts to combat its record-low birth rate. In 2024, the country reported fewer than 700,000 births for the first time in its history, according to the Health Ministry. With the world’s oldest population after Monaco, Japan has been encouraging marriage through local matchmaking events and even official dating apps.

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Tokyo’s metropolitan government recently launched its own matchmaking app, requiring users to prove they are legally single and sign a declaration stating they are ready for marriage.

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Despite such initiatives, critics argue that focusing on women’s appearance misses the broader issue, the structural and social challenges that discourage young people from marriage and family life. As one user summed up on X, “Japan doesn’t need women to wear pumps; it needs equality and better support for couples.”

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