In Malaysia, older couples are getting divorced more often because of phone and social media addiction, which is causing problems in how they talk and connect with each other. According to a report by the South China Morning Post, Hushim Salleh, a counsellor who has worked on these cases, revealed the shocking data.
Hushim, who works in Selangor, Malaysia's richest state, told This Week in Asia that in the last three years, half of the older couples who came to him for help ended up getting divorced. Many wives said their husbands were always on their phones, scrolling all day, and not talking to them.
"In 9 out of 10 cases, the wife asks for the divorce. The husbands just sit there, looking at their phones. But think about it, there are 24 hours in a day. The wife feels very lonely," Hushim said.
Social media: A big obstacle
Hushim has 35 years of experience and says that social media addiction is a big problem. In Selangor, he sees about three to five older couples every month who are having marriage problems because of this.
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A 2024 study by Meltwater and We Are Social found that Malaysia has over 28 million social media accounts, which is about 82 per cent of its 34 million people. On average, Malaysians spend almost three hours a day on social media. They use TikTok the most, spending over 38 hours a month on it, and YouTube for about 35.5 hours a month. This social media addiction affects everyone, not just older people.
Couples don't talk to each other much
Hushim said that because of this addiction, many couples don't talk to each other much. One person might spend hours on their phone and only talk to their partner to ask for food or coffee. "When they come to me for help, I find out this has been going on for years. The wives say their husbands don’t care about how stressed or sad they feel," Hushim explained. Things can get so bad that the couple starts living separately in the same house, one sleeps upstairs, the other downstairs. They eat alone and don't share any love, kind words, or even touch. The wives often say, "Why should I stay in this marriage?"
Malaysia divorce rate
In 2023, Malaysia had over 5,7,800 divorces, according to the country’s statistics department. The average age for divorce was 38 for men and 35 for women. But Hushim says divorce is harder for older couples because they are older, often retired, and don't have many friends to support them after their kids move out. "Malaysians don't know how to handle the changes in marriage, especially when they get older and their kids leave home," Hushim said.
He suggested that the government should start programs to help older couples improve their marriages. These programs shouldn't just be about fun activities like dancing or meeting people. They should help couples connect with each other better, with the help of trained counsellors.